ashacrone

Carry On
Chapter Eight
Disclaimer: Mass Effect belongs to Bioware and Electronic Arts, not me and I make no money from this work of fanfiction at all.

Warnings: adult language and situations, mentions of dub-con and non-con, mpreg, sexual situations, threesomes, gender-bending and birth.

Characters/ pairings: Colonist War Hero Paragade ManShep/Kaidan/Garrus, others mentioned.

Summary: The Reapers are here, and amidst that backdrop, Commander Shepard struggles with gathering allies, caring for his child and fighting for his sanity.

~*~*~*~*~

"Vakarian, there's something I would like to know," Primarch Victus asked, after he had walked into Starboard lounge with a drink in hand.

Garrus looked up at him, mandibles twitching and flicked his fingers at his ear-holes: the turian equivalent to a shush. His other arm was cradling Gabriel to his unarmored chest, humming low and soft, trying to remember a scrap of lullaby that his father had sung to him as a child.

Gabriel was fiercely sleeping; his small human face, with its weird little pointed nose and large eyes scrunched closed, concentrating with all his might on staying in dreamland. His bottom lip was wet and stuck out as far as it would go. His breath would catch and wheeze every so often, eyebrows moving up and down with his dreams.

"Ah, sorry," Victus murmured, moving closer but keeping his voice down as he sat across from Garrus on one of the couches.

"Yes, Primarch?"

Victus took a drink, his mandibles moving up and down in a thoughtful way. "How exactly did you go from 'I trust Commander Shepard with my life' to 'I'm going to rear his children'? Do I need to start questioning your loyalties?"

Garrus' head shot up, felt his mandibles snap up close to his face as his crop burned. "No, sir. My loyalties aren't in question. Consider this as me doing my part for the war effort." Gabriel opened one eye, the pale green iris and pupil all that was visible. "I'm doing this for Shepard. People believe in him, sir. I believe in him." He traced one of his talons over the shell of Gabriel's ear. "Without you on Menae, we probably will lose it." Victus' body stiffened. "Without this baby? We lose Shepard. Without Shepard, we lose this war."

"One person- one human- you really think he has that much impact?" Victus asked, leaning back and crossing his arms, his face plates twitching. "He's an excellent soldier, I admit, and a good diplomat. But I'm sure the war will go on if he were to die."

"Yes. The war would go on. But we would lose." Garrus exhaled, and Gabriel blinked at him again, with both eyes open. "Shepard served as an example to me, to Urdnot Wrex, and to Tali'Zorah vas Normandy. He showed us we could change the galaxy, and all three of us are now key players in our respective governments. Hell, Liara..." His plates lifted. "Well. Let's put it this way. Shepard's strength was, and is, inspiring people to be greater than they were and to unite as a team. He's probably one of the best soldiers in the galaxy, but that's not why we need him. We need him because of all the damn organics in the galaxy... The Reapers actually give a damn that he exists."

Victus grunted. "And the fact that you're sharing his bed has nothing to do with this, ah, revelation of yours?"

Garrus, if he had been human, would have grimaced. Barring that, he jerked his talons away from Gabriel as they clenched. If this hasn't been the Primarch, he would have thrown the other turian a stink-eye, but he supposed it was a legitimate concern. Turians didn't have the same kinds of taboos on cross species sex that humans did; a thousand years of contact with the asari had ingrained a certain... openness... towards cross species liaisons. What mattered wasn't who you slept with, but that order and hierarchy was maintained.

"Shepard was someone I admired and respected as my commanding officer long before we started sleeping together. Like I said, it doesn't affect my loyalty to Palaven. Just... broadened my horizons. I saw how great the species can be when we work together." He looked down at Gabriel, who was studying his face with every evidence of concern. "He's the right man, in the right place, at the right time. I've seen what happens without him here, Primarch." He struggled to find the words; those two years without Shepard had left him lost and alone, without a guiding star. Tali, Liara, Kaidan, Wrex, Joker... All of them had tried to go on. None had been successful at capturing that lightning in a bottle once again. While they were all stronger together... with Shepard, they could do miracles. "That isn't something we want."

Victus gave him a searching look, before humming and getting to his feet.

He left the Starboard Lounge without another word.

~*~*~*~*~

This had somehow turned out to be a solo mission.

Derek had wanted to come, but that was a near impossibility; he was running from meeting to meeting, talking to the paparazzi, visiting Bailey and answering a half-dozen calls for help that ranged from old friends like Miranda Lawson, to Aria T'Loak. Everyone wanted a piece of Shepard. Even the Consort, apparently.

Garrus would have come, too, but the Primarch was keeping him on a short leash. Kaidan had gotten that the former general didn't quite know how to interpret his Reaper Advisor-cum-defacto-Supreme-Admiral's (not that this was an official title... yet) unusual relationships and wanted to keep him focused on turian duties as much as possible. Kaidan could understand the rationale, almost, but Bean liked his Pops better than his Daddy. He even seemed to enjoy being held by Uncle Jimmy more than he enjoyed being with his Daddy.

So when Kaidan was taking his son to his first well-baby doctor's visit, it was with a sense that he might as well have been going up against a squad of Geth Primes. He supposed he could have invited Vega though... he didn't have anything in particular to do, but dammit. This was his son, and he would manage. He could do this.

Yet Bean didn't seem any happier about this arrangement than Kaidan did. He kept on making small snuffling whines and whimpers, creaks and groans, just short of all out tears. Not that Kaidan could blame the baby, but Kaidan was determined to make a go of it.

"I can't blame you," he whispered to Bean, rocking back and forth. "Hell, if we could get out of it... Well, we could tell your Papa that there was a mysterious diaper rash outbreak, or we met up with my evil clone... We could go someplace quiet on the Presidium and give you a bottle. You would like that, right?"

He was so focused on soothing Bean and not breaking his son (an idea that terrified him, even if he would never admit it) that he barely reacted when the statuesque, red-haired woman got on to the elevator. She wasn't aggressive, and from the way she moved she was in a lot of pain. She didn't look back at him, instead focusing on punching in her destination in the elevator and closing her eyes as she leaned against the back wall.

Despite the massive improvements in tech in the past three years, elevators were as slow as ever. "Come to Sanctuary," the human voice, with its posh English accent, proclaimed as the elevator VI registered they were human. "We can keep you safe."

At least it wasn't the ad for organic varren cloaca butter.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the woman sigh, rubbing her temples. "Goddamn frauds."

"Shhh!" Kaidan hissed, drawing her attention as she turned to him. Her face had long, thin streaks of scar tissue down her cheeks and around her eyes; they glowed from where the surgeons had used cybernetics to correct for nerve damage. It made her answering frown all the more intimidating. Kaidan, however, had been frowned at by the previous Shadow Broker. "Hey, baby here."

"What?" she looked at him again, noticed Bean, and sighed. "Yeah, sorry." She didn't say anything more, until the elevator finally crawled the height of Kaidan's stop.

The door opened... and Kaidan blinked, jaw going slack.

The entire floor was awash in Keepers. Dozens of them, all buzzing, chattering, none of them paying attention to the other as parents and children and medical staff all fought to stay out of their way. A moment later the elevator door shut, and Avina's voice chimed to say that the all non-essential doctor's visits were being rescheduled and he could look for the new date on his omni-tool.

He had never seen Keepers act more than individually. "What the... heck?"

"Shhh-" The woman started, then stopped, looked at the baby in Kaidan's arms and grunted. "Shoot." She groaned, leaning against the wall of the back of the elevator, hands pressed against her abdomen. Kaidan couldn't help to notice that her face was pasty-pale, the freckles across the bridge of her nose and cheeks standing out like spots of mud on her bloodless face. Sweat was beading on her forehead.

"Hey- you okay?" Kaidan looked over at her in concern, as Bean made an unhappy whine and Kaidan gave him a pat, then tickled at his sock-covered toes. For his efforts, Kaidan was rewarded with a soft breathy sound and lip twitches that were the boy fought a grin.

"Yeah." Her green eyes blinked at him; and Kaidan froze. Green eyes and red hair were a rare combination anymore, and he saw those eyes every time he looked at his son. "Had... complications. But other people needed the bed and pain meds more, so..." She shrugged. Then she did a double-take. "Aren't you Kaidan Alenko?"

"Uh... yeah?" Kaidan was bouncing Bean as the elevator continued on to its next destination; presumably wherever the woman had wanted to go. He wasn't used to people recognizing him.

"The gossip sites say you were with Commander Shepard?"

"Oh god," he muttered, looking away. Of course he would recognized by a Shepard fan girl. "Yes, we're together, and yes, this is our son. The rest is none of your da- darn business."

The woman blinked, looked at Bean and then back up at him and her eyes went huge. "Oh. Oh." A faint, bittersweet smile crossed her face. "I see. I'm happy for you two... He liked kids." She rubbed at her own belly, and grimaced. Then her face softened, the bitter being smothered by the sweet as she hobbled over, and took a long hard look at his son's small face. "Bet he's over the moon with you, isn't he?" She touched Bean's hand with one finger... who took it and cooed, squeezing for all he was worth.

Kaidan's eyebrow lifted up. "Uh- excuse me? My son likes you, but that doesn't mean-"

She pulled her hand back, lips taut as she blinked back a glassy sheen. "Yeah. Not my place. Sorry."

"Listen, whoever you are." An uncomfortable thought occurred to Kaidan. Shepard had mentioned he sometimes slept with women. "Are you one of Shepard's exes?"

The woman looked up, her green eyes utterly flabbergasted. "No! I- I knew him, yes." She stepped back. "But that was a long time ago. And, well," she tapped her fingers together, then grimaced as her face went even paler. "Is he on the Citadel now?"

"I don't know who you are." Kaidan backed towards a corner. This woman made him uneasy. "And if you think I'm going to-"

"Of course he's here," she murmured, looking away. That was the moment the elevator door slid open. They were on the Docks, at the refugee camp. "He wouldn't leave you alone, would he?" She smiled painfully, quickly, at Kaidan and Bean, before disappearing into the crowd outside.

Kaidan stepped out of the elevator, dumbfounded. He wasn't quite sure what happened. But he had some time. Perhaps he could do some investigating.

"What do you say, little guy?" he asked Bean. "I feel like a visit to C-Sec. How about you?"

His answer was a blown saliva bubble. "I'll take that as a yes. Let's go."

~*~*~*~*~

Derek Shepard remembered the first time he had ever been to visit the Consort.

He had, upon visiting the Citadel, heard various rumors. That she was influential, respected, and discreet. That her words were powerful, with the ability to understand and empathize to an uncanny degree, and that her advice was nearly psychic. The aliens often spoke of her in terms that he associated with saints or philosophers.

The troops on the Normandy traded bawdy rumors about her like young horny teens with their first porn mag.

Like most things, reality was something in between.

He remembered walking in to her chambers, pausing and feeling a warm lassitude drape over his senses. The whisper of water talking to itself, the scent of plants in the sun, and the warm glow all set him at ease. He found himself picturing, vividly, his favorite spot back home on Mindoir: sitting in a tree overlooking the homestead while his brothers laughed and played in the distance. He felt good, the troubles of a rogue Spectre and proving it the Council were distant. He wanted to stretch and luxuriate in it, bask and preen. Yet it didn't feel quite right.

Both Ashley and Kaidan had been asked to sit and wait, while two of the Consort's lovely acolytes (a human and an asari, respectively) sat down next to his two squad mates. Their faces had turned to vacuous, empty pleasantry as the young human female asked Ashley about her military training and how she was also part of a military family and the asari maiden began quizzing Kaidan on his biotics as both were served refreshments.

So easily taken off their guard?

The voice was his, sending a small twitch down his spine as he had struggled, throwing off the blanket of lassitude as he walked into the Consort's private rooms.

This time he had been invited.

He felt a little uncomfortable being ushered in; the sense of being urged to relax, forget, surrender felt like a tide coming up over his feet.

Shepard clenched his teeth as he walked into the Consort's chambers. She was standing with her back towards him, before turning around and nodding, gesturing for him to sit down.

"Commander, it has been quite some time. I take it that you have not been well?"

Shepard blinked. "That's... an interesting way to put it. What exactly can I do for you?"

"I have need of your services again. The Temple of Athame held many legends, and I believe one of them may be of use to you." Her eyes flickered dark, and Shepard gritted his teeth. "The planet you call Eden Prime has not yet yielded all its secrets to your archaeologists. Go back to the beginning, Commander."

Shepard grunted; he felt like he was being caressed, stroked, and he didn't like it. Her words were musical, soothing and he would agree with anything she said. Look into my eyes, and tell me you want me. Tell me you would kill for me.

Shepard hissed, shaking his head. "What do you think we'll find?"

"The next piece of the puzzle." Anything I want.

"Where did you," and his mouth tried to freeze as he fought to get the words out, tripping over his clumsy lips and tongue. "Why?"

The Consort paused. "I have not always been the Consort. As a maiden, I gave myself to the goddess and witnessed wonders that only someone who has gone through the same experience would understand. I am from a line of priestesses stretching back to the beginning of the Athame faith; legends say that my mothers' mothers were acolytes of the goddess herself. But my people are not acting, frozen in indecision. If they cannot move, then someone must." She leaned back, and Shepard took a deep breath, going limp against the sofa.

"I'm afraid I have to ask you to leave, Commander. There are many more clients in need of my time."

Shepard got to his knees, wiping sweat from his face, then stopped. His nails had bitten his palms hard enough to draw blood.

"Tell me, though, before I go." An terrifying memory arose, with a mother standing over the body of her bravest and smartest child. "Do you have daughters of your own?"

"Yes," and she gave him a sharp, predatory smile that sent a chill down his smile. "I am not an Ardat-Yakshi, Commander. Destiny does not like dead ends." But the smile fell from her face. "Your will is strong, Shepard. Yet the tests of the past will be nothing compared to those of the future. Remember that you need not face those battles alone."

Then she turned her back to him again, and Derek retreated.

To be continued
Comments, questions and criticisms welcomed and encouraged.